Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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