he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
