if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
