So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
