My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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