i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
