dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
