i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
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