But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
