i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
