Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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