Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
