I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
