Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So many bounce houses so little time
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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