Just mADE A PArabola og urine
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
