so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
