TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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