is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
