i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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