Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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