Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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