he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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