when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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