you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
