More tranny stories later!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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