im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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