I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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