help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
