Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
