Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
