Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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