I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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