In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
