CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
