Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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