Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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