Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
