You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
