no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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