If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
