Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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