She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
