you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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