I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
