had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
