im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
