me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
