It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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