Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
