How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
it's like heaven, but drunker
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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